Top 110 Ricky Gervais Quotes

It’s funny because I was offered film parts the first week after ‘The Office‘ went out. I was sent a script, and I said, ‘Who’s the lead?’ They said, ‘We want you to be.’ And I said: ‘Well, who‘s going to go and see that? You want John Cusack.’

People now live their lives like an open wound to be famous – they do bad things because they’re rewarded for it.

I don’t mind what people say about me as long as it’s an opinion or the truth. If someone says, ‘He’s the worst comedian in the world,’ that’s fine. If someone says, ‘His face makes me want to punch the TV,’ that’s fine. But if they say, ‘Oh, and I know for a fact he hunts squirrels,’ I go: no, no, no… that’s a lie.

If I was a research scientist, I’d want people to say, ‘You know what, he’s a great research scientist, that Ricky Gervais. He’s really good, really good.’ You know, I’d go to award ceremonies for research scientists and go, ‘Yeah, I really worked hard, yeah.’ It’s brilliant.

Proper stupidity is fascinating.

How many times have we seen reality celebrities fall from grace – often through no fault of their own – and then go on a show like ‘Celebrity Big Brother‘ and say, ‘I want to show the public a different side of me.’ And I’m screaming at the telly going, ‘This is not therapy. This is voyeurism!’

Sometimes being old is used as an insult, which is bizarre because, if you’re lucky, that’s literally going to happen to you. It’s a strange thing to gloat about: being born recently.

I think our elderly are forgotten sometimes.

I was very protective of my privacy. I didn’t want people to write bad things about me that weren’t true, because that’s just not fair. Fifty percent of everything written about me is wrong.

I don’t care whether people say, ”The Office’ is rubbish, ‘Extras’ is worse, ‘Flanimals’ is a waste of time. He’s not funny; he never has been. I hate him.’ I don’t mind that at all. In fact, not only do I expect it, I celebrate it, because I think the haters are really important.

I like grown-up comedy, where it’s about character and attitude and life as opposed to obvious gross-out and jokes.

My dad was a laborer. And he used to get up at 5:30 every morning. He worked for 50 years of his life, in all weathers for, by showbiz standards, petty cash. I remind myself of that when I feel a little bit spoiled or hard done by.

I’m a fang-toothed, blob-nosed, slouchy slob.

I didn’t know I was poor, growing up, because everyone was in the same boat. I couldn’t have bikes. It never really bothered me, but I could have any book. I loved school; I loved learning. Yeah, I never cared for possessions. I still don’t, really.

You should make something. You should bring something into the world that wasn’t in the world before. It doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t matter if it’s a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say, ‘I did that.’

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they’re very rarely the same.

Look, just tell me where that lemon came from and I’ll shut up and go away.

I’m a scientist at heart, so I know how important the truth is. However inconvenient, however unattractive, however embarrassing, however shocking, the truth is the truth, and wanting it not to be true doesn’t change things.

I find comedy easy, and I find drama exciting and tantalising.

Even I can’t talk about myself for an hour.

I didn’t like noisy cinemas when I wasn’t famous.

Stupidity without malice isn’t horrible; some people can’t help it.

I think it’s important to hold a mirror up to society and yourself.

There’s no difference between fame and infamy now. There’s a new school of professional famous people that don’t do anything. They don’t create anything.

Stupidity without malice isn’t horrible; some people can’t help it.

I lift weights. Then I put them down again.

All of my friends are oddities.

I like the ironic pomposity of a stand-up comedian. Like all those comedians thinking they can bring down Coca-Cola. They forget to be funny.

I’m influenced by those ’40s, ’50s, and ’60s films: things like ‘The Apartment‘ – I was a big fan of Billy Wilder.

Luckily, even when people are shouting lies, the truth is undamaged. Science doesn’t matter what you believe.

As an artist, you want as many people as possible to see your work with no interference. And usually, I’ve gone onto fringe channels: BBC Two, HBO, Channel 4.

Stephen Merchant looks like a Muppet. I mean, he looks like Beaker.

Let’s be honest here: Twitter, for me, is 90 per cent a marketing tool.

Sometimes being old is used as an insult, which is bizarre because, if you’re lucky, that’s literally going to happen to you. It’s a strange thing to gloat about: being born recently.

I think all art – even one as lowly as making jokes about celebrities – is there to make a connection.

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side!

Honor is a gift a man gives himself. You can be as good as anyone that ever lived. If you can read, you can learn everything that anyone ever learned. But you’ve got to want it.

Proper stupidity is fascinating.

Comedy is easy for me, but with drama, I don’t know… it’s still the Holy Grail.

When I see a headline ‘Guess who’s going out with who?’ I don’t guess, and I don’t click.

Where there’s a will – there’s a relative!

Why buy a book when you can join a library.

I think being nice is more important than being clever.

I think all art – even one as lowly as making jokes about celebrities – is there to make a connection.

I think Dustin Hoffman has been in at least three of my favorite movies of all time with things like ‘Tootsie,’ ‘Marathon Man.’ Getting a bit more arthouse and darker, ‘The Graduate‘ – incredible, barrier-breaking movie, ‘The Graduate.’

I could always take a joke. I could always be the butt of the joke. I could always hand it out. That was just who I was.

You should make something. You should bring something into the world that wasn’t in the world before. It doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t matter if it’s a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say, ‘I did that.’

I love ‘The Godfather‘ and ‘Casablanca‘ – great stories, acted well, made well.

I was David Bowie-thin up to about 28, and then I discovered food.

If I was a research scientist, I’d want people to say, ‘You know what, he’s a great research scientist, that Ricky Gervais. He’s really good, really good.’ You know, I’d go to award ceremonies for research scientists and go, ‘Yeah, I really worked hard, yeah.’ It’s brilliant.

I don’t do karaoke. I don’t dance, even at weddings. I’m the grumpy one sitting down drinking wine.

A couple of people I knew went to university apart from me, but all the way through I was the smartest kid in the school. That’s luck, but I was proud of it. And I was also proud of doing well without trying. As you get older, and it took me a long time to realise it, that’s a disgusting attitude, revolting.

I’ve got re-addicted to normal people, which is the loveliest thing to write about.

I haven‘t had my teeth fixed, I haven’t had a hair transplant. I haven’t had a skin peel, tummy tuck. I’ve done literally nothing.

I think it’s important to hold a mirror up to society and yourself.

Free speech is one of the most important things to me, but I think it gets confusing when it comes to offense. Because for one, just because you have the right to say anything, it doesn’t mean you have to.

I was very protective of my privacy. I didn’t want people to write bad things about me that weren’t true, because that’s just not fair. Fifty percent of everything written about me is wrong.

When I was about to be famous, I feared it on a few levels. I feared it because I didn’t want people to lump me in with those people who’d do anything to be famous. I didn’t like the word ‘celebrity.’ I feared intrusion, you know? Make me famous, and suddenly you can go through my trash bins.

Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are.

Your reputation is still the most important thing that you’ve got.

With Netflix, I browse; I watch documentaries about things I’d never dream of, but I think, ‘I might as well.’

There are no Hollywood stars speaking out for the elderly. They’re forgotten, bewildered, and I don’t think it’s because people are cruel or don’t care. It’s because you don’t want to think about your own mortality. I think people don’t talk about it enough.

I’m a fan of the kind of political correctness that is about not promoting prejudice. But some people in America are offended by equality because when you’ve had privilege for so long, equality feels like oppression.

I think comedies should be short. I don’t want to be self-indulgent; I don’t want a two-hour comedy.

I see my real job now as – never mind ‘The Office,’ ‘Extras,’ film career, Emmys – I want everyone in the world to know who Karl Pilkington is.

Ego is hilarious – especially the vanity of a comedian. As soon as you see one start worrying about how cool he is or about how many stadiums he can fill, he stops being funny.

The best script in the world doesn’t work perfectly when you actually act it out. That’s a law. That’s a given. So you have to play with everything. And the more fun you have with it, the better the finished product.

Pol Pot – he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they’re that clever, take them off when they see him coming!

You can be watching the greatest film in the world, and if you hear your neighbor getting into a fight, you’re at the window.

I don’t know what Trump has to do to lose his supporters. It’s like a religion. He’s a school bully.

I see my real job now as – never mind ‘The Office,’ ‘Extras,’ film career, Emmys – I want everyone in the world to know who Karl Pilkington is.

I’d never tried as hard with anything as I did with ‘The Office,’ and it was one of the things I’m proud of. I wasn’t trying to be famous or a comedian, but this opportunity came along when I was 38 or 39. It came late, and I couldn’t have been prouder of it.

Honor is a gift a man gives himself. You can be as good as anyone that ever lived. If you can read, you can learn everything that anyone ever learned. But you’ve got to want it.

I don’t care whether people say, ”The Office’ is rubbish, ‘Extras’ is worse, ‘Flanimals’ is a waste of time. He’s not funny; he never has been. I hate him.’ I don’t mind that at all. In fact, not only do I expect it, I celebrate it, because I think the haters are really important.

I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That’s how you know someone is clever. They don’t come out and tell you pi to 13 places – they tell you a joke.

I’m an optimist.

There’s no difference between fame and infamy now. There’s a new school of professional famous people that don’t do anything. They don’t create anything.

Believe it or not, I work out regularly.

I was never ambitious. I was never ambitious at school.

I didn’t know I was poor, growing up, because everyone was in the same boat. I couldn’t have bikes. It never really bothered me, but I could have any book. I loved school; I loved learning. Yeah, I never cared for possessions. I still don’t, really.

Luckily, even when people are shouting lies, the truth is undamaged. Science doesn’t matter what you believe.

Everything I do is somehow rooted in humanity. It’s always about people; it’s always about ego. It’s always about desperation. It’s quite existential. You know, ‘Am I leading a good life?’ That might be because I’m an atheist, and I think this is all we’ve got, so you better be nice. And have fun.

I remember asking my mum when I was about 13, ‘Why are my brothers and sister so much older than me?’ And she just said, ‘You were a mistake.’ And I laughed.

I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That’s how you know someone is clever. They don’t come out and tell you pi to 13 places – they tell you a joke.

I’m a fan of the kind of political correctness that is about not promoting prejudice. But some people in America are offended by equality because when you’ve had privilege for so long, equality feels like oppression.

I really just want to make Karl Pilkington the new messiah.

Humor is to get us over terrible things.

I like the ironic pomposity of a stand-up comedian. Like all those comedians thinking they can bring down Coca-Cola. They forget to be funny.

If I’ve only got a career if I bring David Brent back, you can have it.

I always do a little bit of improv. I did some of ‘The Office,’ a tiny bit in ‘Extras,’ a bit more in ‘Derek.’

What makes ‘Derek’ a different kind of sitcom – if it is even a sitcom – is its sincerity.

I stand by ‘I’m not going to do ‘The Office’ again.’ That would be weird: all the same people sitting at the same desks at a paper merchant‘s in Slough.

If you spend your days doing what you love, it is impossible to fail. So I go about my days trying to bring something into the world that wasn’t in the world before. And then everyone gets furious about it. And then I sit back and say, ‘I did that!’

You can laugh at anything. It depends on the joke.

I don’t do karaoke. I don’t dance, even at weddings. I’m the grumpy one sitting down drinking wine.

The only thing that really depresses me is animal cruelty.

I think Spielberg is a master. I think ‘Jaws’ invented a genre.

I’ve been lucky enough to be able to choose exactly where I want to live.

I think you can make fun of anything except things people can’t help. They can’t help their race or their sex or their age, so you ridicule their pretension or their ego instead. You can ridicule ideas – ideas don’t have feelings. You can ridicule an idea that someone holds without hurting them.

When I see a headline ‘Guess who’s going out with who?’ I don’t guess, and I don’t click.

I really just want to make Karl Pilkington the new messiah.

I’ve avoided doing a network comedy, because I wouldn’t get my own way. Even though it would get more viewers, it wouldn’t be mine.

I was never ambitious. I was never ambitious at school.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they’re very rarely the same.

I don’t do one-liners, because you don’t learn anything about that comedian.

That’s the buzz for me, the creative process. An idea is never as good as when it’s in your head. And then it’s just how little you ruin it.

Making people laugh is easy for me. I’m quite proud of that. But I’m prouder of silencing an audience for a minute because they’re thinking about something.

I haven‘t had my teeth fixed, I haven’t had a hair transplant. I haven’t had a skin peel, tummy tuck. I’ve done literally nothing.

I think I’m pretty self-aware.

You give up a lot being an atheist.