Top 125 Screwed Quotes

I think you can meet the right girl at the wrong time, and it gets screwed up. If you meet the right girl at the wrong time, that girl has to be the most understanding person in the world because there’s going to be a lot more bumps in the road.

My knee is screwed. I had the meniscus cut out.

The way I approach this thing, when I started to get my head screwed on straight and really trying to make something of myself as an artist, when I was 19 or 20, it became more about function for me. Like, what is this song doing to you? What is the function of this type of artform? What is it doing?

The Oakland clubhouse is a wonderful place. A lot of these guys feel like rejects. They were rejects and they feel – they can tell you how baseball screwed up.

I think Roland read ‘Primal Scream‘ first and then gave it to me. This was, I think, even prior to ‘The Graduate‘ days. We both got heavily into and it offered a lot of questions about how screwed up our home life was.

Any Ambassador or Foreign Service Officer who has his or her head screwed on right knows that the U.S. position in the world is far more dependent on our ability to compete in world markets.

I don’t know anyone that says, ‘Boy, I had a great career, and I’m happy because I screwed up my life outside of my career, my family life.’ There’s no one that feels that way.

I think my dad did legal work for someone who had a Packard Bell 8088, and they couldn’t pay him, so they gave him a computer. I was initially not allowed to touch it, but that didn’t last long. I started tinkering with it, and there were many times I screwed up the computer.

I have my head screwed on right. I haven‘t been this way in a long time.

Everybody, as soon as they do a good experiment, their first thought in this lab is, ‘That can’t be right. I must have screwed it up. What did I do wrong?’ And that’s the best kind of scientist because they’re filled with this self-doubt. And if I’m going to be honest, that’s who I am. And it’s what drives me.

I got kids that are growing up in a Donald Trump world because we screwed up because we haven’t been able to craft a message and push policies that connect with working class people.

I’ve got my own philosophy. People who write books have different philosophies. You read too many people and you get screwed up.

A lot of people are singing about how screwed up the world is, and I don’t think that everybody wants to hear about that all the time.

I screwed up my life. I screwed up my kids’ lives.

I wasn’t a good-looking child. I got screwed out of the genetic deal. My sister looks like a model. I think that’s why I’m a comic. I’m deeply insecure, since I was always feeling ugly. I wasn’t a healthy child. I had poor self-esteem. That’s why I need people’s approval.

I remember trying so hard to get into Bon Iver. I’d lie in bed listening with my eyes screwed up, like, ‘This is just depressing me.’

Something got screwed up in terms of your priorities if you think it’s more important to get rid of the dividend tax than it is to take care of 11 million kids.

I watched the guy that hits a home run, and he comes across the plate and he points skyward, like thanking for the help from the Almighty to hit the home run. And as he does that, I say to myself, ‘God screwed the pitcher.’ And I don’t know how else you look at it.

With these big Wagner pieces, if I haven’t started three years before, I’m screwed. You need time to look at the piece again and again and again, and then, like some fantastic casserole or spaghetti sauce, put it back in the fridge and let the flavours get together.

That’s what makes a character interesting from an actor‘s perspective – the more screwed up, the better.

Once you start thinking more about where you want to be than about making the best product, you’re screwed.

Men should know that no job is more important than their family. I had that all screwed up for a long time. I regret it.

I can’t do anything else. So if this falls through, I’m screwed.

Directing is a lot of fun, but you have to be on your toes every minute. If you zone out for even a second, you’ll miss something and things will get screwed up. And here’s a little secret that I’m going to let out of the bag: That is not the case with acting.

It’s funny; I actually made poorer decisions when I sobered up then when I was screwed up.

My children are the thing that make life work because, you know, I screwed up my life, and I know it was me, and it was really hard because it was so public, and that was very, very hard.

If I lead my life according to someone else, I’ve screwed my life up.

Laurel and Hardy have this love relationship. Why? This little Englishman screwed Hardy up, physically, every day of his life! Why is he with him the next day? It’s forgiving.

Hollywood screwed up in the past. They made Asians the other – a separate group that could only hang out with each other.

When I realized that my big dream was going to come true – ‘Night Shift’ was a success, ‘Splash‘ was a success, I got the job to do ‘Cocoon‘ – suddenly, I was underway. And I knew my name was rising up the lists. I was going to have a career. I was going to be able to direct movies until I screwed it up.

The whole industry is so screwed up by economics. It’s disgusting to me.

Rock and roll kind of screwed up my voice poetically. I found myself having this ‘Beat‘ voice in my poems. It was like this self-fulfilled prophecy because everybody was calling me this rock poet, this Beat poet.

I think people imagine going back to a time when they knew who they were and they knew what the circumstances were – if you screwed up it was your fault.

In Los Angeles all the loose objects in the country were collected, as if America had been tilted and everything that wasn’t tightly screwed down had slid into Southern California.

I see girls who haven’t had a carbohydrate in three years. The second you go back to eating right, you’re going to put that weight on. You eat one piece of bread and you are screwed, lady!

Comics creators are generally screwed in life: Most of us who are fortunate enough to do comics full time – which is very few of us – will literally draw until we die because we have no employment structures intact for retirement, much less insurance!

We all get old, but I always say the skinny, pretty girls will be screwed.

One principle I’ve been fighting for that doesn’t endear me to a lot of people is that black people can be just as complicated and screwed up as white people. Our motives can be just as base and violent. Suffering does not necessarily ennoble you.

I’m not a big person, so every time they were adding these big guys to the cast, I said to my trainer, ‘We’re screwed, dude.’ I’m only five foot five, and I’m going to look so little.

It’s the results that are surprising, even results where we’ve totally screwed up, and then learned something in the process, are the ones that stand out. Having our preconceptions overturned is actually thrilling for us.

I screwed my knee up once because I fell off the stage.

Families are the deepest, most screwed up relationships that we have.

I spend a lot of time hanging out with kids in their early twenties who feel like they’ve messed up and have really screwed up in a lot of ways. We spend a lot of time talking to them and saying, ‘You can change that.’

If you watch a guy go out on court and have a meltdown, you’re not going to think, ‘Oh my God, now I’m screwed.’ Or you’re not going to think, ‘The umpire‘s going to give him calls because he’s just told him he’s an idiot or the pits of the world.’

People focus on the darker female characters in my books, but for every one of those, I can also show you an equally screwed up man that no one ever comments about, or a nicer woman that no one comments about. I don’t feel like that’s my specialty.

When you screw up in the ring, it’s so embarrassing. But the fans don’t know you screwed up unless you act like you just made a mistake.

If we could have just screwed another head on his shoulders, he would have been the greatest golfer who ever lived.

I live about five hours away from a Whole Foods and Trader Joe‘s, so I have to make extra sure that I get everything I need, otherwise I’m totally screwed.

I think lower wages have made men much less marriageable than they were before. It’s not just like your job goes to hell. Your marriage goes to hell. You don’t know your children anymore. Your children have a higher chance of being screwed up.

The first year I was sober was probably the worst year of my life. My immune system was screwed. I completely isolated myself. I was weak all the time. I didn’t know who I was.

Of course, screwed up families are not the exclusive province of the famous. Still, most families get to screw up in private.

People who go into show business are screwed up.

I think there’s something inherently interesting in the Monday morning quarterback: the guy who, you know, sits at one end of the briefing room and tells everyone what they should’ve done and how they’ve screwed up.

We have to laugh at how hard life can be and how screwed up we can be at times.

In the recovery world, it’s a higher power that helps you. You have to turn your life over to something greater. Anytime I tried to control my life, I had screwed it up.

My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

You have to find out who you are aside from what the media say you are. If you’ve become reliant on them for kind of a sense of self, then you’re really screwed.

You hear about how many fourth quarter comebacks that a guy has and I think it means a guy screwed up in the first three quarters.

My dad, in the best way possible – not in an intimidating way, but with the physically intimidating qualities that every father has – can truly be scary. The only time you saw that side of him, the raw side of him, would be in a moment when you truly were the one that screwed up.

I think young people have a wonderful reaction to color because it’s not screwed up by too many references.

I didn’t really want to be a movie star. I thought they were so screwed up!

The real trick to these movies and making the big action sequences work – and I’ve forgotten this sometimes and screwed it up – the characters really have to be humanized. Because you can have the greatest special effects in the world, but if you don’t care about the people in those effects, there’s no impact.

Look, we know we screwed up when we were in the majority. We fell in love with power. We spent way too much money – especially on earmarks. There was too much corruption when we ran this place. We were guilty. And that’s why we lost.

I’m aggressive, quite frankly, because Staten Island gets screwed all the time. And if I’m not aggressive, then I won’t be successful. That’s not being a bad boy. That’s doing my job.

Some of the funniest people I know are not screwed up in the head.

I realized that I had screwed up my life living different parts of my life in different places. I wasn’t whole. I wasn’t integrated. I wasn’t a complete person. And after that, came out, spent some time at a psychiatric hospital.

They screwed up ‘Raise the Titanic!’ so badly, I stay away from Hollywood. I won’t cheat my readers with another piece of crap.

You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is by the kind of toilet paper they use. Go in any rich house and it’s some weird coloured embossed stuff.

Life kind of forces us to put these filters on, whether it’s because someone told you you weren’t good enough – excluded you or bullied you. Or maybe your parents screwed up on accident in some way and it changed who you were. There’s this pressure to fit into a mold and change who you’re supposed to be.

I was closeted into my mid-twenties and even into my late twenties. It screwed up my relationships; it screwed up things with my family that I’ve since repaired.

The great equalizer is health. If you don’t have it, you’re screwed.

I detest computers. If you had a device like that 30 years ago that froze up constantly, misbehaved constantly, lost your information and screwed up when you needed it the most, it would have been laughable.

I’m a normal, horrible, screwed up human being like everyone else. I mean, I’m not horrible person, but I’m just as screwed up as anybody.

I’ve got my head screwed on in the right direction, for the most part. It may be turned a little bit to the left, but we’re getting there.

I’ve screwed up a lot, but I’ve always admitted it.

I’m fascinated by the people I grew up with and the mistakes I made – and God, I have screwed up. I like writing about where it all went off course.

I admit I’m being paid well, but it’s no more than I deserve. After all, I’ve been screwed more times than a hooker.

If I screw up, I’m gonna say, ‘You know what? I really screwed up.’ That’s all you can do. Some people gonna forgive you, some people not gonna forgive you. That’s just the way it works.

Some of those kid stars who got screwed up were pretty talented. My mom warns me every day what can happen. Sometimes she clips the headlines out and puts them in my room.

If I start outsourcing all my navigation to a little talking box in my car, I’m sort of screwed. I’m going to lose my car in the parking lot every single time.

I said, ‘Maz, if I hadn’t screwed up that Game 7, you wouldn’t be in the Hall of Fame.’

The thing that is incredibly helpful is that we screen the movies and we ask the audience if they like it or not and we ask a lot of questions and do testing on the movies. For comedies, at least, it’s very helpful. If they’re not laughing and they don’t say that they loved it, then I have screwed up.

I’m focused on bringing real change to Washington because the career politicians have screwed things up so badly.

I think Jim got screwed. I think Jim Bakker would have been a great preacher. Jim Bakker was very good at what he did.

Most actors I know come from a screwed up background, so it makes sense that if you can walk on to a space and recreate your reality, then that’s the place that will become very dear.

I won a scholarship with the Brixton School of Building. I screwed around, not putting in a proper attendance.

Friends are like fiddle strings; they must not be screwed too tight.

The thing I love most about going to a book store is the self-help section is the biggest section because Americans know we’re screwed up. We know it. But we want to get better.

There’s no such thing as an easy role. Every part, you take it lightly and it will get screwed.

So often in sitcoms, it’s like, ‘Oh, that husband of mine. He just screwed up again.’ They just have to tolerate each other. It’s not the most fun to play from my perspective. But by the same token, you can’t be like, ‘We’re just like Romeo and Juliet, always in love.’

Sometimes you do something, and you get screwed. Sometimes it’s the things you don’t do, and you get screwed.

I was drinking so much coffee and Red Bull just to keep going it screwed me.

From a security perspective, if you’re connected, you’re screwed.

It’s great that I get accused of not being politically correct. People need to take themselves less seriously. This world is so screwed up as it is, we’ve all got to relax a bit more.

There are people getting screwed in our country every single second, minute, hour of the day. And if by our work, we can decrease that number, we’ll make a difference; we’ll be doing our jobs.

There’s tons of people with talent; it’s the system that’s all screwed up.

A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first.

I feel like I couldn’t have screwed up that bad as a dad, because I have a pretty good relationship with both of my kids.

My head was – I wasn’t screwed up, but I feel like I was shifted away from my family a lot with this basketball stuff. You have people coming around you saying they are family or whatever. They try to keep you away from your real family. That kind of got me.

We have screwed with our environment. We have a culture that’s going crazy, and it’s all being propelled by the trillion-dollar advertising corporations.

I came out when I was 17. I was in the church; I was crying every Sunday for about a year. I came to terms with the fact with this is who I was – I wasn’t going to be able to be a different person. At 17, you feel like a freak already, and so to have that fire and brimstone against your attraction is just screwed up!

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

An incredible number of people have raised children who aren’t too screwed up. Surely, I won’t be the worst at it.

For an author, the nice characters aren’t much fun. What you want are the screwed up characters. You know, the characters that are constantly wondering if what they are doing is the right thing, characters that are not only screwed up but are self-tapping screws. They’re doing it for themselves.

I don’t know why people think child actresses in particular are screwed up. I see kids everywhere who are totally bored. I’ve never been bored a day in my life.

I come out of TV, where you never reshoot, because you don’t have time. If you do reshoot, it’s because someone really screwed up.

In the early 2000s, I was going through a lot. I didn’t have my head screwed on right. Where I was at as a man, I was still growing up.

When I tried to play something and screwed up, I’d hear some other note that would come into play. Then I started trying different things to find the beauty in it.

I think I’m now screwed for life because my first relationship was the most bizarre relationship ever, and I’m not normal any more. I’ve kind of been spoiled, and I guess I am kind of screwed up now.

Some Pulitzer winners – novelists – have confided to me that getting the prize screwed them up. It messed with their heads. That hasn’t been my experience.

I admire Jodie Foster. Her head is screwed on really well. It’s not loose at all.

All my movies got screwed up because of my personality.

I know how I want to operate as an artist. And that is by having an honest, genuine dialogue about this kind of screwed up journey I’ve had that I’m so thankful for.

Facebook Algorithms have got us all screwed up, where we only listen and talk to people with the same views as us, and I think it’s not helping us as a culture to grow.

Who would name their kid Jack with the last words ‘off’ at the end of the last name? No wonder that guy is screwed up.

As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you’re screwed.

The latest page I’ve been working is about the organization of the pantheon of the gods. Who’s indebted to whom, how they are related, who screwed whose uncle or grandmother, all of that.

Those days if you drove cross country and you broke down on the side of the road, and the sign says 200 miles to the next gas station, you knew you were so screwed.

I think as an actor you have to be open to your emotions – that’s how you tap into other characters. Besides, by being so open I’ve come to terms with how screwed I am!

I am regularly asked what the average Internet user can do to ensure his security. My first answer is usually ‘Nothing; you’re screwed’.

Up until my first book was published, I had all this potential, people would say, and I screwed up. After it, I could say: ‘No, I didn’t screw up.’

We have pretty much all the facets of our business under our control now. Relying on someone else to do the right thing, you’re just setting yourself up to get screwed. We control our own destiny and it’s a really good feeling.

The reason I’m fiendishly drawing end-of-game plays when I’m taking notes is what if I screwed up something down the stretch of a game?

I went in with Jack and Leslie, into this room that was lined with brick, and there on the side I can remember very clearly was this small model with plates for the bases – the original model with everything screwed together.

More has been screwed up on the battlefield and misunderstood in the Pentagon because of a lack of understanding of the English language than any other single factor.