Here we have the best Funny Quotes from famous authors such as Eric Idle, Karl Lagerfeld, Kevin Hart, Steve Jobs, Carlo Ancelotti. Find the perfect quotation from our collection.
You initially become funny as a kid because you’re looking for attention and love. Psychologists think that’s all to do with mother abandonment. I think John Cleese has his depressions, and Terry Gilliam’s the same. All of us together make one completely insane person.
I like to be funny. I can’t stay all the time focused, disciplined, controlled. Behaviour like that is impossible. If the players are too nervous before a game, I have to relax them, calm them.
I know there’s a CSI game. I’ve never seen it, though, so I’m not really sure. I hope it’s interesting. I hope that they’ve done a good job making it, but because I’ve never seen it, the jury is still out on whether it’s interesting or not. But it is funny to imagine that it’s been turned into a game.
A funny thing happened to me on the way to the White House.
I have never been hurt by what I have not said.
Life is hard. After all, it kills you.
That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.
It’s so funny, this thing of ‘overnight success.’ I’ve been doing this for 20 years, but yes, sure, it happened overnight!
Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we’ll find it.
I’ve dated some women who have turned me on to some funny things that are strange for men to actually do, but these things have become part of my process. I think the things I do for my appearance help make me look better. I even colour my hair because I like how it makes me look.
It’s funny, I never think I’m doing that well. I’ve never, ever. I just constantly think, ‘This isn’t working out.’
I’ve seen many female comics that a lot of people haven‘t heard of who are so funny, and I saw them come up, and they were working so hard, and then all of a sudden they had a baby, and they just got tied up in motherhood, and eventually, they kind of just stopped doing stand-up, and I thought it was such a shame.
I’ve seen many female comics that a lot of people haven‘t heard of who are so funny, and I saw them come up, and they were working so hard, and then all of a sudden they had a baby, and they just got tied up in motherhood, and eventually, they kind of just stopped doing stand-up, and I thought it was such a shame.
Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
A lot of men are competitive about being funny.
Nothing’s funny about someone who’s successful.
There’s a darkness under ‘The Hangover‘ because ultimately there’s a missing person and it’s not really that funny. There’s a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in ‘Old School.’
I’ve never met a funny person who wasn’t smart. I’ve met a lot of dramatic people who were stupid. But I’ve never met a funny person who wasn’t smart.
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
You win a race, the next race it’s a question mark. Are you still the best or not? That’s what is funny. But that’s what is interesting. And that’s what is challenging. You have to prove yourself every time.
Sure, I am funny and have a good sense of humor. Mostly, though, I just tell the truth. The internal dialogue people have in their heads – I just write it.
Very often, I don’t make it through moments of recording because it is genuinely funny and absolutely ridiculous that a 60-year-old grown man is making these noises.
For 35 years, I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.
I’m funny. I’m a comedian. I’m not a clown.
No, no, I was only funny on stage, really. I, I, think I was funny as a person toward my classmates when I was very young. You know, when I was a child, up to about the age of 12.
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
Humor has become so cliche and boring that nothing’s funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable.
That’s the funny thing about time. It is only in looking back that it’s easy to connect the dots. To see exactly why everything needed to happen the way that it did.
It’s funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can’t afford the music.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
I don’t think I’m that funny.
I went to the University of San Francisco on an athletic scholarship. I didn’t study in high school. I was just there to get by and to play basketball. But a funny thing happened to me when I got to college. I got challenged by the work and the professors.
I can’t even look at daily comic strips. And I hate sitcoms because they don’t seem like real people to me: they’re props that often say horrible things to each other, which I don’t find funny. I have to feel like they’re real people.
Funny enough, the most discrimination I’ve ever gotten as a woman in this industry has been from other women.
You can hate me for being a woman, you can hate me for being smart, you can hate me for being funny, but you hate me because I am doing something you could never do. End of story.
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
People often can’t separate, or can’t understand, that to be funny is to be serious; it’s a way of pulling people in and not scaring them off. I think a lot of the funny stuff, underneath it, there’s a deep anxiety going on.
A man’s got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.
I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, ‘I wish I was that good.’ People think I’m funny, and I say, ‘I’m not.’
I definitely started to perform a little bit in middle school, but not the typical musical/play route. I think that I am funny, but it was more of a social thing, where that was my part in my circle of friends.
There’s only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.
The middle class is so funny, it’s the class I know best, and it’s the class where you find the most pretension, so that’s what makes the middle classes so funny.
Why don’t you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
I’m going to take this God-given gift of being funny, and I’m going to spread it out like peanut butter on everything I do.
The human brain is a funny thing: it’s very susceptible to tempo and melody. You put the right words to it, and it becomes very influential.
My dad has blond hair, my grandmother has blue eyes. My daughter has blue eyes and blond hair. So it is pretty funny to me that I’m so heavily identified as an Asian person.
You can do anything with bayonets except sit on them.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?
If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.
He looks as though he’s been weaned on a pickle.
For me personally, I just don’t have anything to prove anymore. I know exactly who I am, I know that I’m intelligent and acting dumb or acting like whatever. If that’s funny to me because I know it’s false then so be it.
I think it’s great to see how they’ve grown up, not just as actors but as people. They’re still very much the same kids that I met many years ago. They’ve grown up and they are funny and wicked and naughty and bright, and I think as actors their work is just getting better and better. They’ve blossomed.
This will sound funny coming out of my mouth, but I like to play characters that have an intelligence. It doesn’t matter if it’s a physical intelligence or emotional intelligence.
I did a lot of serious plays, and I did the Oxford Review as well, which is supposed to be funny, but I’m not sure how funny we were when we did it. Then, when I finished my course, it was only then that I decided to go to drama school and try and do acting because I was enjoying it so much and so on.
There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of negativity because I thought there’d be something I’d miss that was funny in the future. If there’s a chance I’m going to laugh tomorrow then want to live to experience that.
For 35 years, I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.
You shouldn’t get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.
One time I went into a restroom and a girl followed me in. I signed an autograph for her in the sink. It was pretty funny because she was in a guy’s restroom and she wasn’t embarrassed at all.
I can’t tell if I want to be a rapper who’s funny because I kind of enjoy just doing really stupid songs about nothing. But I want to have a career that’s long-lasting, and I don’t think people want to listen to a straight-up comedy rapper all the time.
When I was right out of college, I felt competitive with some of the guys in my class over career stuff. It’s funny now to think about it – that a friend getting a job or something had anything to do with me… I think that my relationship with my wife has played a pivotal role in the chilling out of Aaron.
You see much more of your children once they leave home.
I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny.
I used to work with autistic children, and they said a lot of funny things to me.
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
The great thing for me about ‘The Resurrection of Gavin Stone’ is it’s a throwback to the old fashioned Hollywood movie that you can watch with your family, has a message, and is funny and entertaining. They didn’t call them faith-based movies; they just called them good movies.
Trust is hard to come by. That’s why my circle is small and tight. I’m kind of funny about making new friends.
I love airports because funny things always happen at them. They’re giant complexes full of urgency, seriousness, and confusion. Where am I supposed to be? Which way do I go? And that’s just the staff.
Some guys may play around and say a couple of things, but if I say it, I mean it. I may laugh, it may be funny, but if I say I’m going to get you, I’m going to get you.
Naked dudes are inherently funny.
There are so many funny women in the world, and there has been for so many years, so I’ll be happy when people can just move on from that, and things can just be ‘comedies‘ and not ‘female’ or ‘male,’ and everyone gets an equal opportunity.
My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.
I had paralyzing fear as a kid. I couldn’t watch horror movies, nothing. The funny thing is I got so sick of being afraid that I started doing it deliberately and instead of being afraid in my bed I would sit up on my bed and say, ‘ok, come on, show yourself, do it.’
My parents are both very funny but they’re also relatively soft-spoken, normal human beings while I’m just a lunatic. I don’t know where this loud, ballsy, hammy ridiculousness came from. I’m just glad I followed my goals and my parents did too. It’s not like we even had a plan when I dragged my mom to Los Angeles.
I grew up playing hockey and some football, and I always think about the first time you walk into the locker room on a new team. The cliques are looking at you funny, and you make one friend, but then they’re trying to stab you in the back.
I basically started performing for my mother, going, ‘Love me!’ What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.
A lot of men are competitive about being funny.
Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
It’s funny, but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have.
After all is said and done, sit down.
I don’t need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you’re funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
I’m not funny. What I am is brave.
It’s a funny old world.
An idea isn’t responsible for the people who believe in it.
I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things.
I’ve always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they’re just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.
This is the great thing about Northern Ireland. I walk down the street and people stop me and say things like, ‘I know you. You’re that wee golfer, aren’t you?’ I say, ‘Yeah, that’s me.’ They say, ‘Keep it up, wee man.’ It’s very funny and that’s why I want to stay here as long as possible.
It’s funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy.
When you see things upside down, the ego can be extraordinarily funny; it’s absurd. But it’s tragic at the same time.
I remember being four or five, not understanding how to be funny, so just going around the house and my mum and dad‘s friends, confusing adults by saying weird things.
I find what I do for a living really funny. I mean, acting is kind of a hilarious thing for a grown man to call a job.
I wasn’t even 20 at the time, but it taught me something about drugs. They can take a good man, a warm, funny, loving family man, and turn him into a loser and worse.
If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie… a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
There are a lot of funny things that happen in one’s life.
We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh… We’ll do whatever it takes.
Until you walk a mile in another man‘s moccasins you can’t imagine the smell.
A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
The inventory process and stepping back in your life can sometimes be a very dark process. But it also can be extremely funny and surprising.
It seems like everybody’s perception of me is very bipolar. To one group, it’s overpaid, overrated; to another group, it’s underpaid, underrated, underdog. It’s funny to me because there’s no real balance.
I always ended up having the funny part in Shakespeare, but I really thought I’d be doing theater. That was my ambition for myself.
My girlfriend doesn’t think I’m funny at all.
I don’t mean to be funny.
I don’t think I’m funny.
If my life wasn’t funny, it would just be true, and that’s unacceptable.
When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, ‘Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.’
Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
If you’re talking about Java in particular, Python is about the best fit you can get amongst all the other languages. Yet the funny thing is, from a language point of view, JavaScript has a lot in common with Python, but it is sort of a restricted subset.
They’re just jokes, people. They can’t all be funny.
As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
The funny thing about having all this so-called success is that behind it is a certain horrible emptiness.
I don’t just try to be funny.
I’m, like, super-clumsy and weird and funny and dorky.
The things that make me laugh are considered smart or whatever, I guess. But stuff that’s self-consciously intelligent or self-consciously hip or cool, that doesn’t do it for me either. You just try to be funny.
I did get the nickname ‘craptain’ from the Yorkshire dressing room. A bit of banter which I thought was quite funny.
Democrats are dumb and Republicans are stupid, but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn’t funny. Dumb is when you say something and the whole room goes, ‘What did he say?’
Comedy is so subjective. You could be in a room with 400 people laughing at a joke and you could just not think it’s funny. You’re just sitting there like, ‘Am I in the twilight zone? Why is everyone laughing?’ It’s such a personal thing. People have such a personal visceral response to comedy.
It’s funny – when I first started as an actor, obviously there were long periods of being idle and all you want to do is work. So if I ever get the compulsion to feel like I should complain or feel like I want to take a break, I just remember how I was before and be very grateful for it.
Somebody said something funny to me the other day. They said, ‘Wolper, until two weeks ago, your tombstone was going to say, ‘David Wolper, the man who produced ‘Roots.’ I think the tombstone now has a new inscription. It’s going to be ‘David Wolper, the man who produced the opening ceremony of the 1984 Olympics.’
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
Sex is funny and love is serious.
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
People don’t expect me to be as funny as I am.
As for our majority… one is enough.
It’s funny, because there are so many stereotypes out there about actors and movie stars in general, but I’ve had a great opportunity to meet a lot of them, and maybe it’s just because they don’t behave that way around me, but I rarely see that kind of abuse of power.
Probably spending 12 years at boarding school – comedy became a survival gene. But I think some people are funny right off the bat, as soon as they can speak or be naughty.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that’s who you are. Don’t try to be someone that society wants you to be; that’s stupid. So be yourself.
The funny thing about directing is that you have your own opinions, but it’s a collaboration. Directing is a group effort. Even though you might think something works, the smartest thing you can do as a director is try and weigh the opinions of the people around you.
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
The funny thing about history is that we imagine that people didn’t laugh in the old days, but of course they did, at stupid things.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
One man is as good as another until he has written a book.
Comedy is just an unspoken language. Everybody understands it. Funny is funny. When it’s not funny, they’ll let you know.
It’s funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life.
To me, what separates a funny movie from a good movie is something personal.
If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
What is funny is when you do a futuristic movie, you immediately get to be fashionable because you’re creating something that doesn’t exist.
If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
Something that I’ve always been really keen on representing is some honesty with the way that we view ourselves. That’s something I’ve always appreciated watching actors that I’ve looked up to, is when they look like you and me, or they have a funny elbow, or they have, you know, a hairy face.
It’s funny – if you impersonate somebody, they have no idea it’s them.
I feel like somebody who just is very understanding is my biggest thing – timing is a major issue for me – but also funny! Obviously I want someone really cute and fun and fresh for good Instagram pictures and that just makes me really happy.
My parents were very funny – they didn’t know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ.
I think I have an inner confidence that my tastes are pretty simple, that what I find funny finds a wide audience. I’m not particularly intellectual or clever or minority-focused in my creative instincts. And I’m certainly not aware of suppressing more sophisticated ambitions.
Censorship no longer works by hiding information from you; censorship works by flooding you with immense amounts of misinformation, of irrelevant information, of funny cat videos, until you’re just unable to focus.
I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.
Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.
The first thing that I learned – and I understood it at a really young age – was that I could get a laugh. Really early. Because my mother and father are funny.
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself.
What’s funny about my resume is so much of what I’ve done has not been seen.
Always remember your kid’s name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don’t let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers… for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces.
Animals are sentient, intelligent, perceptive, funny and entertaining. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children.
I trust God’s timing. I’m a very spiritual person, and a lot of times, we want things on our time, and we come up with our own plans of what we want to do with our lives, but God be like, ‘Haha, you’re funny. That’s cute. Anyways, this is what you’re going to do,’ and I’ve learned to just sit back.
I have gotten a couple of letters meant for Mr. Bean aka Rowan Atkinson. These letters would say things like, ‘You’re so funny, you make me laugh, with your big rubbery face,’ and I would say, ‘You can’t mean me!’
I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.
It’s funny – when I started acting, I didn’t know I was going to be talking about Asian-American issues so much. You know what, though? It just comes with the territory, being ethnic.
I know I’m more on television, and I’m more recognisable than maybe even the players because they run and train, but I just stand there, and my face does all these funny things that everyone can see all the time.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
What bothers most critics of my work is the goofiness. One reviewer said I need to make up my mind if want to be funny or serious. My response is that I will make up my mind when God does, because life is a commingling of the sacred and the profane, good and evil. To try and separate them is fallacy.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
I love ‘AP Bio’ – I think it’s so funny – it’s just not the show I want to do.
I’m funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while.
I love Adele. Adele is my favorite artist. She’s British. She’s funny. She’s just an amazing, incredible voice, and I love to sing as well.
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
Always remember your kid’s name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don’t let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers… for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces.
I thought ‘Borat’ was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn’t some studio-produced script with 14 writers.
There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of negativity because I thought there’d be something I’d miss that was funny in the future. If there’s a chance I’m going to laugh tomorrow then want to live to experience that.
I write what I think is funny and I write from a sense of popping a balloon or a sense of injustice, whether it’s about yourself, or whether it’s about something else. It’s my worldview; it doesn’t mean that everybody has to agree with it.
Funny things tend not to happen to me. I am not a natural comic. I need to think about things a lot before I can be even remotely amusing.
You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
I became good friends with Jack Whitehall. I think he’s great, such a great dude, and really funny.
Reality continues to ruin my life.
It’s a required part of your film history to know who Woody is. His movies are so wonderful, and not just funny but so insightful about human behavior.
I can resist everything except temptation.
I’m funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while.
It’s funny, there’s all these slogans like ‘you’re never too old to keep dreaming.’ You know it’s funny how in the basketball world, and in the business world where you’re just supposed to stop. In the sports world, I feel like at 35 you’re just supposed to stop. If you do, that’s great.
I’m going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli.
Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I’m afraid it did.
The funny thing about cinema is, usually when they do a story that has African Americans in it, there always has to be a white guy who’s the savior.
Someone said to me at a party once, ‘Oh, yeah, you’re a comedian? Then how come you’re not funny now?’ And I just wanted to say, ‘Well, I’m just going to take this conversation we’re having and then repeat that to strangers, and then that’s the joke. You’re the joke later.’
Comedy is a tool of togetherness. It’s a way of putting your arm around someone, pointing at something, and saying, ‘Isn’t it funny that we do that?’ It’s a way of reaching out.
Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
I love readings and my readers, but the din of voices of the audience gives me stage fright, and the din of voices inside whisper that I am a fraud, and that the jig is up. Surely someone will rise up from the audience and say out loud that not only am I not funny and helpful, but I’m annoying, and a phony.
Never floss with a stranger.
Hurried and worried until we’re buried, and there’s no curtain call, Lifes a very funny proposition after all.
Everyone has at least one story, and each of us is funny if we admit it. You have to admit you’re the funniest person you’ve ever heard of.
Maori get pigeonholed into the idea they’re spiritual and telling stories like ‘Whale Rider‘ and ‘Once Were Warriors,’ quite serious stuff, but we’re pretty funny people, and we never really have had an opportunity to show that side of ourselves, the clumsy, nerdy side of ourselves, which is something I am.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
I hate to say it but I hate black humor. I feel like a Klan member saying it, but it’s just not funny.
I’m a funny guy. You’ve got to be able to make fun of yourself. We only live once.
It’s funny what a few no-hitters do for a body.
The next time you have a thought… let it go.
I know that I’m going to die and that you’re going to die. I can’t do anything about that. But I can explore it through a metaphor and make a kind of funny, dark story about it, and in doing so, really exhaust and research as many aspects of it as I can imagine. And in a way, that does give me some closure.
Racing is a funny industry. One week you can be going terrible and the next week you’re on top of the world. So you just keep showing up: I keep working harder to get more opportunities, but what do you do – that’s life.
The superfluous, a very necessary thing.
I don’t believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It’s funny because it’s ridiculous and it’s ridiculous for different reasons at different times.
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
It’s funny, because I don’t have a very addictive personality in any way except for things like stories or books or movies or TV. I just get, like, completely enamored and lost in that world, especially when one really hits the right way. Like, I just can’t do anything else.
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it’s just wonderful.
